I just came from getting new make-up… you’d THINK getting a make over and new make up would make you feel like a beautiful movie star and you’d feel AWESOME because you have just been done up by a professional. Oh wait… FALSE. For starters. They take off ALL your makeup and then begin to ask you about your skin care routine 3 inches from your face. Thus beginning a vulnerable process you NEVER asked for and are now regretting the whole new make up idea. You know that feeling you get at the dentist office when they ask you the dreaded “do you floss question” .. knowing full well they know EXACTLY how much you floss because they are professionals but you lie anyways because you can’t handle their shaming? Well it’s like that but like… a whole SLUE of floss like questions… but maybe worse. I know EXACTLY what a dentist wants to hear. A makeup artist.. a whole new ball game. I have NO IDEA what the “right” answer is… thus begins the stress. Artist: “So what is your skin care
Reasons for my distaste for beards and/or extreme facial hair: Really, when it’s too thick it’s like… what’s under there… or better yet what’s IN there?! Is it clean? …Are you clean?! Are you compensating for something…? Did you go on an outdoor adventure for a month and grew it out to feel like Bear Grills? Hot and awesome. I’ll let it slide until things are able to get stuck in it. Then I would like to see your face again… or do I?! How would I know if you’re a forever beard face?! Hey beard face, STOP STROKING/itching it. It doesn't make you look intelligent or distinguished.. or make ME want to stroke it… it just makes me think you have itchy face or beard lice. AND no beard combs allowed… EVER. Just means its too long and… I mean a beard comb… nope. Super groomed full beard with gelled combed hair on top? Word that comes to mind? I’ll refrain... but me thinks you spend too much time in the mirror and LOVE your beard TOO much. I get a pretentious vibe